Chim chiminey, chim chiminey
by akaeve
Summary: Written for a friend for Christmas.


"Chim chim-in-ey, chim chim-in-ey"

Short Christmas story for Linda.

"Rudolph the six gun shooter, had a very shiny gun" Tony sang as he and the team boarded the ship….."Hey McRudy, saw that nice pic, that one of the Boss' fans put on some social networking site, not see it? I'll forward….yep looks like you with some bulbous nose cold," one Tony DiNozzo laughed.

"I thought it rather….sweet. The time and effort the poor person took to do." Ziva answered.

"I thought you looked cute too DiNozzo, you never mentioned that one." Gibbs said as he passed the three on the way to the body.

"What we got Duks?" Gibbs enquired, now looking down at the body.

"Santa…looks to me like he got shot skyward from the funnel, looks like someone started the engines as poor Father Christmas was preparing to hand out presents to the crew. The thing is his butt is a tad singed…..as if he had been sitting on a container or something."

"Container, or something? Thought Santa always sat on a sleigh pulled by reindeer?" Gibbs replied.

"Yes, but in this instance the hoof prints on the jacket, and the fact that there is a bullet hole in his head, makes me think some crew member was definitely disappointed with his gift."

"Can you not just see it Probie? Santa confronted with some terrorist child, disappointed the Action Man toy, did not have a real AK47, so took his own and shot Santa." Tony surmised looking vague.

"I would have thought he would be quite right to shoot some intruder, mascaraing as some fantasy personification, coming down a chimney. I mean why use such an entrance route?"

"Reminds me of that smoked body then, doesn't it Ziva?" Gibbs replied.

"Oh yes Jethro you were just back with the team, and was it not when we discovered Timothy that your book was based on us? Not very good for a writer, no imagination, which I must say Jethro, that social network site, they are quite…..amazing, I particularly liked that story of you Timothy stranded in Scotland….." Dr Mallard said.

"Hey Guys…..this is fact, not fiction…we got a body dressed as Santa, on the deck of a Navy freight ship, and all you guys can do is talk about some figment of imagination."

"Jethro, did you not believe in Father Christmas when you were a child." Dr Mallard asked.

"Gibbs was never a child," Tony whispered to Ziva.

"Heard that DiNozzo, and as someone who was as dysfunctional as you say, I suppose you spent your Santa wishes on fast cars and women?"

"No Gibbs, my father did, all I wanted was a happy childhood."

"Which, you are now going through." Tim added.

"Hey guys, the body please….all we know is that it flew out the funnel…." Gibbs shouted

"Chimney…" singing "Chim chim-in-ey, chim chim-in-ey, Chim chim cher-ee! A sweep is as lucky, as lucky can be. Chim chim-in-ey, chim chim-in-ey Chim chim cher-oo! Good luck will rub off when I shakes 'ands with you….thank you, Boss" now getting a head slap, "Poppins….."

"Actually Tony, I was thinking, "Yabba Dabba DOoooooooooo." Tim answered now also getting a slap.

"When are you going to tell me, who, when, why…..this body is here?" Gibbs shouted at the team.

"Boss, the who, we have, Petty Officer Charles Christmas…..and yes before you head slap me or strangle me, is his name….." Tim replied.

"When? Jethro is just after midnight on the Christmas Eve, which makes it a Christmas day death." Ducky added.

"Why?" Gibbs questioned, "Is what I want you people to find out, and so until you do, no Christmas pud." Gibbs snapped.

"Never liked Christmas pud," Tony said walking away.

"DiNozzo….."Gibbs shouted.

"Boss."

"Tony, as Senior Field Agent…..and one with the most vivid imagination and film cred here…..SOLVE" Gibbs screamed.

"That wasn't nice Jethro." Duks said.

"I'm frustrated….." Jethro retorted.

"Find a good woman Jethro…."

"Not like that Duks, but I do know a social network site where I might be accommodated…." Gibbs replied.

"Yeah, you and McGee." Tony shouted.

"Anthony, I don't think that is what Jethro had in mind….but I could be wrong." Dukman replied.

"Team could we keep this like now, solve. Tim, hoofprints?" Gibbs shouted.

"Need to get jacket to Abbs, see if real or stamped." Tim replied.

"Stamped, yes definitely, from reindeer…or the Elflord in Lapland." Ziva answered, "Ouch Boss."

"Ziva , you should know better."

"Sorry….I have been inspecting the boiler room and I would say that definitely a stoker….sorry junior engineer, fired up the engines and because of the high winds, the remains of the hurricane, the one the Scots called Bawbag, whirled round and dragged the poor Petty Officer into the funnel before the backdraught threw him back out onto the deck." Ziva now added.

" Very good David, one problem…. Bawbag was last week and over Scotland this one is in Norfolk. You got an answer for that?" Gibbs questioned.

"Yes, "Son of Bawbag" Ziva replied.

Gibbs shook his head, "OK the bullet wound? Anyone?"

"Nope, maybe we should get Fornell, or Kort….looks like a FBI or CIA connection."

"Meaning?" Gibbs asked.

"You know that game they are playing on that social network site…..NCIS shorthand?" Tim asked.

"Nope…but you are going to expand?" Gibbs asked.

"Well they give three letters and someone replies." Tim replied.

"And you got the answer?" Gibbs shouted.

"No, but I was thinking since it is Christmas, CIA is Christmas in Absentia, since we are all here…"

"And, for the FBI?" Gibbs asked.

"Fatal Brain Injury….." Tony answered shrugging his shoulders.

"Very good, but who shot the P.O? That is my question." Gibbs shouted, "And the hoof prints?"

"Boss, I had a thought…" Tony ventured.

"Ya, think DiNozzo?...well?" Gibbs ordered.

"The Petty Officer was shot by his own gun…..he was climbing the funnel fell in…the stoker fired the engines and the PO flew skyward. He landed on one of the reindeer who took fright and trampled him…in doing so the Petty Officers gun was ejected from his pocket and in the commotion the gun went off and shot the Petty Officer in the head. The animals trampled on him in their hurry to escape." Tony replied.

Good thinking DiNozzo, but one fault or failing in that theory…..where are the animals now?" Gibbs roared.

"Ahhhhh, yes…they flew away?" getting a head-slap, "Thank you, Boss, brought back to my senses now."

"So you lot really have no idea have you where the reindeer are…if there were such things." Gibbs shouted as he heard McGee's cell ring.

"Special Agent McGee…..yes, yes of course I will tell Special Agent Gibbs….thank you." as Tim shut his cell.

"McGee?"

"That was the Director…Director of the Smithsonian Institute…..eight new reindeer have appeared in the enclosure of the _Cervus eldi thami….."_

"English Tim."

"Yes Boss…..Burmese Brow-antlered Deer other words known as Eld's Deer." Tim answered.

"And?"

"And Boss they seem to have made themselves at home, but one thing bothered the Director….one of the reindeer had a red nose, and there is a gun stuffed in what could only be called a sleigh…..Boss." Tim replied.

"And why call you McGee?" Gibbs roared.

"There was a note in very bad English that said "Call McGee, NCIS, the Elf Lord…..we are innocent, it was an accident."

All Gibbs could do was smile and shake his head. They would go to the zoo, but how do you interrogate venison except over a hot grill…he shook his head , he could just hear Tony say "Grill them well Boss, grill them well."

Merry Christmas Linda.


End file.
